PROVISION #685 (9/05/10): Nice Matters

The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take were outlined in the first proposal of the holiday -- a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day.

Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.

So what could be better on Labor Sunday than to celebrate vital workplaces with this Provision, followed by some recreation and amusement at Wrigley Field? Life is good.

One thing is clear when it comes to vital workplaces: nice matters. In the wake of the industrial revolution, workplaces got pretty nasty. Boring, repetitive, injury-prone, assembly-line tasks are not the way human beings prefer to work. To get people to work that way, employers empowered leaders to dole out rewards and punishments in an attempt to control the behavior of employees.

That approach was not always successful. Human beings are not lab rats. We have more on our minds than winning carrots and avoiding sticks. Behaviorism may sound scientific but that doesn't make it a sound approach when it comes to leadership. Extending empathy, autonomy, and purpose, to mention only three more humanistic dimensions, will often get leaders a whole lot further than incentive plans.

That's especially true in the post-industrial era. Boring, repetitive, injury-prone, assembly-line tasks have been automated and outsourced such that increasing numbers of people are working in environments where inspiration matters more than perspiration. And even tough, dirty jobs are requiring increasing levels of creativity and innovation on the part of non-management employees. When it comes to leadership, we've clearly entered an era where nice matters.

So what do I mean by nice? I don't mean wimpy. I mean exactly what I wrote about nine years ago in Provisions: act Neighborly, be Interested, feel Connected, and employ Etiquette. I turned N-I-C-E into an acronym, and here were the Laser Provisions that summarized each dimension:

1. Being nice is not a state of mind but an active lifestyle. It's a matter of acting Neighborly with the people in our lives -- at work, home, and school, in our communities, associations, congregations, and neighborhoods. In other words, it's a matter of leading and living by the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When was the last time you acted neighborly? Why not do so today?
    

2. To act Neighborly -- the first principle of nice -- requires the second: we have to be Interested. Whether it's at work or home, with colleagues, neighbors or friends, being interested in other people will make you much more attractive and successful. The more we take an interest in the experiences, welfare, and accomplishments of others, the more likely it is that they will take an interest in us. What goes around comes around, and that's especially true when we are genuinely interested in what other people are saying and doing.
    

3. There's no way to be nice without feeling connected and compassionate to others. Without a sense of connection we're part of the problem rather than the solution. That's what the "C" stands for in N-I-C-E. Feel Connected. As long as we feel separate, superior, disconnected, intimidated, and frightened by others, we cannot and will not be nice. Once we feel connected, we can often find new ways of making a real difference in the world.
    

4. Etiquette has gotten a bad name in this day and age. Who has time for etiquette? We grab our fast food and claw our way to the top without much concern for social graces. That's no way to be nice! Yet the "E" in N-I-C-E stands for Etiquette because etiquette benefits one and all with the gift of a wonderful life. And etiquette is a choice. We're not born with social graces. We learn them and choose to use them. If you want to make a mark in the world, then it helps to employ etiquette.

Nine years later those four principles are still relevant and manage to speak volumes. Whether you lead or work in an organization, be that an employer, a team, or a voluntary association, then you will get a lot further if you act Neighborly, show Interest, feel Connected, and employ Etiquette.

Such attributes are the key to what is sometimes called "servant-leadership." Instead of serving our egos, such leadership serves our people as it serves the cause. Nice matters when it comes to leadership not just because it feels good but because it gets things done. When leaders set the pace as to how we treat our people, there's no limit to the aspirations and possibilities we may discover together.

Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your leadership style? Is it nice or nasty? How would your people describe your leadership style? What does it take to hold people accountable and yet to be respectful and nice at all times? How does that look? What would help you to better hold that tension in your own life and work?

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2. On the Web: What is Servant Leadership? by Bob Tschannen-Moran

The connection between being nice and servant-leadership can be seen in the earliest writing about servant leadership from Robert K. Greenleaf. In his 1970 essay, "The Servant as Leader," Greenleaf wrote:

"The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature."

"The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?"

In his second major essay, "The Institution as Servant," Greenleaf articulated what is often called the "credo":

"This is my thesis: caring for persons, the more able and the less able serving each other, is the rock upon which a good society is built. Whereas, until recently, caring was largely person to person, now most of it is mediated through institutions -- often large, complex, powerful, impersonal; not always competent; sometimes corrupt. If a better society is to be built, one that is more just and more loving, one that provides greater creative opportunity for its people, then the most open course is to raise both the capacity to serve and the very performance as servant of existing major institutions by new regenerative forces operating within them."

That sounds very nice to me. There are many excellent books and articles about Servant-Leadership. You can download a bibliography from the Greenleaf Center for Servant-Leadership. Or you can go straight to the source, and read Greenleaf's seminal book on Servant Leadership for yourself.

Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe the power of leadership? Where does that power come from? What does it lead to? How can you best embody the power of servant-leadership? What difference would it make if you carried yourself that way today?

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3. Readers' Forum

Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use our Feedback Form or Email Bob.

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It is absolutely amazing how relevant your Provisions are to the challenges I face in the workplace. Although I don't have time to read them all, I save them as they come in and I often have the experience of reading one only to discover that you are addressing the very thing we are dealing with in the moment. That's when I forward it to all my staff or print it out to share at a meeting. Thanks so much for this incredible treasure.
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I have no idea how you come up with this stuff. It is consistently high quality, week after week. Thanks so much for all the ways in which you share yourself with the world.
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You don't advertise your coaching in terms of time management, but you must be really good at that. I can't believe all the stuff you are involved with and stay on top of. The world, or at least my world, benefits greatly from the energy and effectiveness you bring to all the tasks you do. Top
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You can purchase all of the books mentioned in LifeTrek Provisions as well as a whole lot more from Amazon.com. These great books will move you forward in your own life trek. Here are links to a few recently mentioned books (some of which are available on the Amazon Kindle, an electronic book reader):

-- Servant Leadership by Robert Greenleaf Amazon
-- Salsa, Soul, and Spirit by Juana Bordas Amazon
-- Strategic Listening for School Leaders by Tate & Dunklee Amazon
-- The 5th Agreement by Don Miguel and Don Jose Ruiz Amazon
-- Leadership Agility by Joiner & Joseph Amazon
-- Evocative Coaching by Bob & Megan Tschannen-Moran Amazon
-- The Inner Game of Work by Tim Gallwey Amazon
-- The Art of Innovation by Tom Kelley Amazon
-- Making Ideas Happen by Scott Belskey Amazon
-- Change by Design by Tim Brown Amazon
-- Getting Things Done by David Allen Amazon
-- The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Lencioni Amazon

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May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.

Bob Tschannen-Moran

President, LifeTrek Coaching International, www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation, www.SchoolTransformation.com
2010 President, International Association of Coaching, www.CertifiedCoach.org

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